Some times I feel dumb because people can be very skeptical
about happiness. If you share the same demeanor you may feel the same. If we all have choices why would you choose to be negative when it doesn’t really add anything to your existence. Often times the things that make you unhappy are other people. I’m not advocating pushing back the unhappiness that maybe more prevalent in your existence. All states of being must be addressed to make sure they are doing you some good. I’m not going to ignore my physical welfare by being happy and doing nothing to keep me in that position. It’s far too easy to tell someone to ‘pucker up, it’s not that bad’ but in some cases it may be very bad and inappropriate. How then can we keep the ‘joy’ when the evidence in your life points to environments physically and mentally that aren’t better?
You should address the problem not through fear,
I don’t think it merits you if you just react to circumstances. Look at the situation that your displeased with, like you would a good friend and offer the same solutions you would to a friend. Take responsiblity for your part in it, then lovingly assert yourself to heal it. Now I know this is difficult because you have no power over someone else and people are so insecure that they sometimes see calmness as condesension. These people are closed and in it for a fight this can be very difficult because they will be combative until they draw you into a situation you feel you might need to defend yourself in. This was their goal and if you realise this then walk away for a while and keep doing this until they are calm enough to address this need. It will be infuriating to them because what they want from you won’t be given. They’ll call you all sorts of names to draw you out, your ego will be affronted and at that point you will want to stab them in the eye with a blunt pencil LOL. Don’t, just explain your stance and walk away. Acknowledging that this process may take a long time if you care enough to pursue it.
I really dislike arguing but have come to realize
that when you care about someone you have to go there sometimes. Not for your sake but for theirs. When people are upset I believe they go to the insecure state of acting like a hurt child. It takes courage to address and share your weaknesses but this must be done in order to receive the succor you may need. I had an acquaintance who in his disrespect for me actually told me that he liked to have arguments so that he could remember what was said and use it again in other rows. We can assume then that some individuals are horrid, that there are sociopaths hiding out as caring individuals in everyone’s lives. What a minefield, all I can suggest for this is to listen closely. People always show you who they are more by what they say than their actions. Actions take more thought where as speech is often done by people without actually thinking about it. It’s in these little snap shots of ‘self’ you begin to see who you are dealing with.
I don’t believe we can make a better world for ourselves without addressing these people. Your silence allows them to think it’s OK to behave in a despicable manner without consequence. This is true and why most people like the word ‘karma’ because with that word said it takes them off the hook. Millions of people died in the Second World War because people kept their mouths shut and their views blinkered. If you know friends that have fallen out and are not trying to make amends by bringing them together. Is it really about them, or you? I don’t believe you should waste your time fighting a losing battle, some people need to see a ‘shrink’. With all the good will in the world you’ll not penetrate because they don’t want to address anything for themselves. It’s good you tried and that’s all anybody can do.
If you know people that are truly horrid to you
I would suggest ‘walking’ away from them but if you are in business with them it can be difficult especially if you are making good money together. I guess the question is. ‘How much is your happiness worth?’ Your personal joy versus your physical prosperity? A not so hard question to answer if you believe in re-incarnation but if you don’t, then what?
Keeping your smile then, when others rock up to help you lose it or circumstances are difficult, is very hard. Please don’t be upset if you are pulled under or perplexed. Take comfort in the fact that we all are sometimes drawn into sadness. Also that nobody alive or dead can be happy all the time you need sadness to place joy in perspective. Just do not wallow in it sadness has a habit of disguising itself as beautifully made comforter.
Thank you for your time and interest. Please like share and comment
- 10: Smiles are Contagious (1behindthemask.wordpress.com)
- Why are we unhappy? (howtotrulylive.com)
- The Heart of Getting Over the Heartbreak (mybodymyself.wordpress.com)
- Repressing Happiness? (melodykiersz.wordpress.com)