On Saturday a friend came around
so we drank bottles of bubbles and made food, good cheer and company we were happy. He has just started seeing someone who is a Buddhist and from what he’s told me about her she sounds like a really ‘sound’ person. The relevance of this is that I think my friends internal script can be quite negative. He is often self doubting and in his intelligence is trying to do something about it. I have high hopes for this relationship but the ‘knowing’ voice inside tells me that this person is here to help him change his script. I think they might date for a while but she’ll become exhausted by his battle with himself so in time she might retreat. I sincerely hope this doesn’t happen and she might be made of stronger stuff than I am. Actually it isn’t even about her strength it’s about her patience and when you add physical love to the mix peoples resolve can grow stronger.
For a long time I have been trying facilitate him with changing his internal script
but it is difficult because you can say the simplest of things and he seems to hear it with defensive ears. It’s hard when your someones friend because with all the best intentions in the world they still hear with their ‘hurt ears’. This can be really tiring, he is trying to change this I listen but it does tick me off sometimes because his behavior can rub off on me. This is really annoying because whats starts off as a nice evening can sometimes leave me annoyed and zapped for energy. I’m trying to work on this, apparently you can have negative people as friends but because I get so involved with trying to help it can be really exacerbating. (I take the people in my life seriously so if someone tells me they need my help, I’m there. I’ve discovered that some people sometimes just see talking about there problems as an interesting evening out. They leave you all buzzed/appeased up and you end up feeling physically drained. I now only see these people every now and again as I spiritually can’t bare the bleed.)
Some people should write a journal
and get all the bile out of them but generally some desire an audience for their pain. When you have old school sentiment about friendship as I do.
A true friend is someone who sticks by you when you are down and celebrates with you when you are up. It’s someone you trust. It is someone who understands you, knows the real you and appreciates the person you are or are trying to be.
I don’t really know what the majority definition of friendship
is, but if you’re there for someone in a world of people who sometimes say they are and when something goes wrong aren’t. Well that’s not going to help make this world a nicer place is it? It will just continue to make bigger, the list of people who pretend everything is fine and then go buy a rifle and kill people LOL. If you’re someones friend and you find yourself bitching about them then be their friend and talk to them about it. I dislike duplicity and if you call yourself a friend, then simply be one.
Good friends say the things that others dare not for fear of losing you
, they own this task. I had a friend who asked for my advice I gave it and she told me that even when she slagging me off to her boyfriend who was agreeing with her. That she knew I was ‘right’. How sad is that? In that tiny conversation I saw someone leaving my life. I was sad, not anymore because you know what? I have gained back precious minutes of my own existence. There really is no point in giving your time to people who do not value your give or your choices on their behalf.
It is then important to make sure you think positively about yourself and if your so entrenched in your conditioned script. Don’t do your friends head in, try positive auto suggestions and affirmations LOL. I know it seems facile but I think you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your body goes where your mind goes, send it to a nice destination that’s the clever thing to do.
I hope that helps, good eh? Have a lovely day do something kind for yourself. Having nice thoughts should equal having a nice day. Thank you for your time and don’t be shy stay in touch
- Tears are good. I cried this morning. (dougterpening.com)
- Buddist Proverbs about learning (ieltsin30days.wordpress.com)
- How Not To Argue (slacktivist.typepad.com)
- 5 Steps for Being Present (psychologytoday.com)
- Don’t EVER Sacrifice Who You Are Just To Please Someone Else. (uselessfeelings.wordpress.com)