True forgiveness I believe is an intellectual
and emotional choice to let the horrid and bitter thoughts that bubble up about a person or a situation go. When your angry two very important things happen
- Your emotions become much more prevalent than your thinking. In some cases they become so strong that all you want to do is ‘punch the face in’ of the person you feel has hurt you.
- Your whole being becomes inflamed with the injustice/pain of the situation that your ego wants to talk about it often, so you can either work it out of your system or relive it in glorious technicolor. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed how dramatic/emotive even the quietest person will become when they’re talking about some injustice or harm done to them.
To relinquish the emotions that are conjured up isn’t easy,
some people spend years reliving every aspect of it. (Even when the other person has died). Either to ‘sure’ up their hatred for a person who no longer is in their lives. (I believe they do this to continually assess that they made the right decision to let them go ‘be right’). I do not really like being witness to this but I do understand that some folk need facilitating, how many times do you have to listen to the same hurtful story that they won’t or can’t conclude happily for themselves?
When you take emotion out of the equation you give yourself the most wonderful gift.
the gift of ushering your ego to a place of safety. It’s almost like teaching yourself not to care. You know in your heart you always will because forgiveness stems from pain and when you have a need to forgive it is always in an effort to assuage pain. The pain always stems from how much you cared, how much you feel betrayed, upset, cheated.
I feel you have to get this pain out of your body and into your head where you can deal with it systematically. By picking it apart whilst placing the debris in intelligent boxes. This involves you taking responsibility for some of the pain and the situation as you were involved too. This can be extremely hard for some and they will shout and scream but they do themselves the most harm by not ‘owning’ their part in the situation.
I’m suggesting you teach yourself to become less emotional when angered.
Take the time to step away and deal with it when you have a calm rational. This way you can gain the perspective to realize that if you do not forgive someone or a situation. You gain the emotional burden of hate and pain, that can colour and influence your thoughts possibly for the rest of your life.
Be nice to yourself let the hate go. We none of us live our lives without hurting someone even if it is unintentional. It is wise to forgive because it gives you one of the greatest gifts, the grace to know that when you do. Others will forgive you, remember ‘like attracts like’ be nice to you, because ultimately your the one who benefits from it.
Thank you for your time and interest. Please feelmfree to share, like or comment
- 5 Ways To Say Your Sorry (triurbanworship.com)
- Forgiveness (fellowshipofthehigherpower.wordpress.com)
- Imagine Forgiveness! (socyberty.com)
- Dare To Forgive (therisingmuse.com)
- Four Steps to forgiveness (herbertmtowo.wordpress.com)
- Is It Really Possible to Save a Marriage After an Affair? (psychologytoday.com)
- Daily Kiss:: Forgive Me? No Forgive Yourself. (enjoyingthejourneys.com)